SMILE......Nothing is funnier than life itself!  This section contains a few true stories based on Tibshelf's mining humour.  Although forever facing the dangers of working underground, this did not dilute the strength of a collier's wit.

MINING HUMOUR

No answer to that!

A new Tibshelf resident came into the Crown Hotel and was talking to a couple of old Tibbians.  The first old Tibbian complimented the new resident on the prettiness of his daughter whom he had seen the day previously.

"Thank you", the new resident replied.

To which  the other old boy said, "Aye lad, as mi fa'ther used t'say....uglier the bull, fairer the calf".

If the shoe fits....

A Tibby collier was getting ready for his shift when the mines in Tibshelf were open.  After being out the night before he was feeling hung over and had put his pit boots on the wrong feet.  His wife came into the kitchen, looked at what he had done, and remarked with a smile on her face.

" Those boots don't look right on your feet"

To which the collier replied, "I agree...they'd look better on thine".

Ask and thou shall receive...

Partnerships don't always last a lifetime.  The wife of one Tibby collier decided that it was time to move on and sued for divorce.  She claimed support for her and the children and the case went to Court.  At the end of the hearing the judge looked at the collier and gave his findings.

"The Court has decided to award your ex-wife 3 Pounds and 50shillings a week in maintenance"

To which the collier replied, "Thank you your Honour...... I'll try and chip in a bit myself!"

Ouch.....

While transporting some timber down the Pit an accident occurred which resulted in a collier getting skewered with a piece of wood.  The wood went through his body and out though the other side.  Luckily it missed all the vital organs and the collier made a full recovery.  When he went back to work he had been given a new nickname by his workmates ....KEBAB!

Close encounter....

Part of the land close to the "Chicken Run" in Tibshelf is shaped like a huge pair of buttocks...know by the old residents as the "Giant's Bum".  One new resident who had bought a house overlooking the feature was talking to a couple of Tibbians and one of them said,

"I had my first sexual experience on the Giant's Bum......and got caught by her mother".

"What did she say?" replied the newcomer.

"Baaa...", replied the other Tibbian.

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